September Reflection:
Mirror Work and the Practice of Really Seeing Yourself
We spend a surprising amount of time looking into mirrors without really seeing ourselves.
We check our hair, straighten our clothes, notice the tiredness under our eyes. Then we make an adjustment and move on with the day.
But every once in a while, the mirror catches us differently. We notice not only what we see, but how we have been looking at ourselves. And there is a difference.
The Inner Critic We Didn't Choose
Sometimes the person staring back at us is carrying words that have been there for years. Things someone said, expectations we picked up along the way, criticism repeated so often it began to sound like our own voice.
When you look at yourself, what do you notice first? Something you appreciate, or something you'd change? And when that critical voice appears, have you ever wondered where it learned those words?
Many of the things we believe about ourselves were handed to us long before we knew we had a choice about keeping them. We carry them quietly, and sometimes repeat them for so long we forget to ask whether they still belong to us.
There are other things we sometimes ask the world to tell us, too. Am I doing okay? Am I enough? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be seen. But I wonder what might happen if we stopped asking everyone else to answer every question about who we are. What is something you know about yourself today that you no longer need someone else to confirm?
Why Mirror Work Matters
Maybe that is where mirror work becomes interesting. Not because a mirror has some magical ability to change us, but because it gives us a rare opportunity to meet ourselves face-to-face. No distractions. No audience. Just you.
The words you choose don't need to be grand. You don't have to look into your reflection and suddenly believe you're fearless, wildly confident, and ready to conquer the universe before breakfast. The person in the mirror may have questions.
They can simply be true.
A Few Affirmations to Try
If you're not sure where to start, here are a few honest, present-tense lines to say to your own reflection:
I am learning to trust myself.
I am allowed to take my time.
I have made it through things I once thought I couldn't.
I am here.
My real self is enough.
A Simple Self-Reflection Practice
The next time you catch your reflection, stay a moment longer. Before checking your hair or deciding whether something needs fixing, look into your own eyes and notice what comes up. You don't have to correct the thought or turn it into a lesson, just notice.
What does the person looking back at you need to hear? What could you say to her that you actually mean?
Maybe the mirror was never meant to decide who was fairest of them all. Maybe we've simply been asking it the wrong question. Instead of how do I look?, try how have I been looking at myself?
Meeting Yourself With Compassion
There is a whole person on the other side of that glass. Someone who has lived, changed, made mistakes, learned things, let things go, and is still becoming acquainted with herself. You don't have to love everything you see today, and you don't have to transform the person in the mirror.
Perhaps you can simply meet her and let her know: I see you. I'm listening. I'm still here.
🤍