Mirror, Mirror… A ritual of reflection and choosing your own inner-voice.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”
You,
a mirror,
and an affirmation.
Mirror, Mirror on the wall…
Ever since I was a child I have always loved fairy tales. The enchantment absolutely intrigued me. Most of my childhood was difficult and unbearable. Reading was the only way that I was able to find some sort of comfort. Three books that I always turned to were Aesop’s Fables, Hans Christian Andersen, and Grimms Fairy Tales. Oh how I loved those books! They were my companions. One especially stands out to me today, and as you probably could guess from the title, that’s right, Snow White. There are many versions of the tale and we could most likely sit all day deciphering all the meanings and symbolism, but were talking about mirrors today.
We all know, or at least are somewhat familiar with the story, pretty princess spoils evil queen’s day lol. But that’s not my focus. Remember when the queen would look into the mirror and ask it for validation? And she got so upset when the mirror told her that she wasn’t the prettiest of them all. I was thinking, what if she just believed in herself? And…she had the tool that she needed. Right there in front of her, but she was just using it wrong. Her mirror.
What if she had stopped asking the mirror for approval?
What if she had looked into that mirror and decided to take back her power for herself?
Nobody told her that if she just learned to love herself and used affirmations to change her unhealthy thought patterns, maybe, just maybe…she could stop projecting her insecurities onto others. They should have called her the messy queen, ‘cause that’s what she was, just being all kinds of messy.
Anyway, let’s get into this mirror work.
How I see myself, says it all.
If you are reading this and you’re a Leo, you already know how we feel about mirrors. We have to stop and admire ourselves. When I pass by anything that shows my reflection I’m definitely always doing a double-take. Hair… Check. Outfit… Check. Lip gloss... Check. And then back to business. But somewhere in a not-so-distant past, I remember looking at my reflection and not liking what I saw. Even though I looked my best, I just never felt my best. Ever. It took me a long time to retrain and reframe the many unhealthy thought patterns that I used to believe about myself.
Mirror work was a very helpful part of the process.
“Youcan heal your life.”
~Louise Hay (1926-2017)
One of my favorite authors, Louise Hay, wrote the most life-changing book, You Can Heal Your Life(1984). Louise Hay, God bless her soul, began her work back in the 70’s. Through her workshops, long before there were Ted Talks, Louise Hay introduced the power of mirror work through compassionate self-talk and affirmations.
"The mirror reflects back to you
the feelings you have
about yourself.
It makes you immediately aware
of where you are resisting
and where you are
open and flowing."
~Louise Hay
I am forever grateful for Louise Hay and her life-changing wisdom and guidance. Who knew that all I had to do was look at myself in the mirror. It did come with it’s ups and downs. Some days were good while other days, well…not so much. I had to look at myself. I mean really look. I started to see what was underneath, so much sadness, grief, trauma from my childhood, mommy issues, daddy issues, feelings of abandonment, self-worth and self esteem just low as ever. Then I began to pay more attention to how I spoke to myself about myself. Geeze. It was difficult having to confront myself and own my sh*t. But was it worth it? Absolutely.
Who’s belief is it anyway???
Now that is the question you could be asking yourself.
Before we were able to consciously choose for ourselves, who we are and what we wanted to be in life, the choice had already been made. Look, it isn’t your fault how you grew up or what your parents had or didn’t have. As you dive deeper and swim in the ocean of forgiveness, those kinds of things will make more sense. Your parents did the best they could with what they had at the time.
Over time all of those words that were spoken to us as children took root and somewhere along the way we believed them. I don’t know what your childhood was like, but “life for me ain’t been no crystal stair…”. My household was far from affectionate and I was being sexually abused by someone that was supposed to protect me. So I spent a large part of my life living in silence and shame. I’m telling you this because, we all have a story, this just happens to be mine.
Circumstances from our past along with all of the external noise of other people’s opinions, create within us an inner dialogue that is set to play on repeat. False stories and ideas playing over and over and overrrr in your head. I’m not good enough., my body is shaped funny, I don’t deserve to have nice things. Sound familiar? Those are not your thoughts. They come from a place that did not begin with you, so they don’t have to stay. Remember this: Familiar is not the same thing as truth, and that old version of you was living in survival mode. Now, it’s time for you to THRIVE.
Protect your energy. Lock in.
Your energy is precious and how you talk to yourself matters. Mirror work is great way to start your day. It allows you to pay attention to your thoughts and focus on you before you get pulled into different directions. It’s easy to get distracted by a message you forgot to respond to. Scrolling that turned into you comparing yourself to all the picture-perfect images. Mirror work and energy protection, gives you a powerful foundation to establish and maintain your boundaries. Sometimes we naturally absorb the feelings and emotions of the people around us. Mirror work exercises allows you to consciously shift your focus and attention back to yourself. It lets you see what energy is yours, and what energy may have attached itself to you. Mirror work is energy work.
“My peace is my priority.”
Your reflection is your anchor. How can we return to ourselves if we have no idea what that looks like? Your body is your home. Mirror work builds resistance to the external energies we are exposed to day-to-day. Louise Hay and science both agree that intentionally gazing into your own eyes, along with speaking positive affirmations activates the brain’s, ready for this, mirror neural network (MSN). I promise you I won’t get too neuroscientific on you, but the mind-body connection is wild!
The mirror neuron system (in a galaxy far, far away…), deep inside of your brain, is a network or cluster of cells that activate when you experience a feeling and when you watch someone else experience a feeling. It’s like “copy and paste feeling here”. For example, have you ever seen someone bump their knee or stub their toe? And you flinch. Actually, a better example would be when you watch movies. You follow the main character’s journey and you feel everything they feel. Your brain experiences everything as if it is actually happening to you!
Thanks! Mirror neural network!
A Path for Healing
For women like myself, healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), our nervous systems are fragile and most of the time we are in survival mode. We never fully dealt with our traumas so we are constantly stuck in fight-or-flight. We either become hyper-vigilant and absorb the stressors of our environment and the energies of the people around us to feel safe, or we have on outer-body experience and leave our physical shell by disconnecting and dissociation.
This is just one reason mirror work acts as your own personal reset button. The vibes are real, and when you feel overwhelmed by the energies of the world, all you have to do is look in the mirror. focus on three things: your eyes, how your body feels, and your breathing. Focus on you. Either you are in control of your mind, or your mind is in control of you. You are the sovereign ruler of your life.
Mirror work can be gentle, just P.A.C.E. yourself:
Presence
Show up fully,
without rushing to “fix”.
Affirmation
Offer one positive sentence
to yourself that you believe.
Centered
Let your breath settle you
before you speak.
Emotion
Welcome whatever comes up.
Honor your feelings.
Mirror Work: Step-by-Step
Grab a mirror and a few minutes of quiet time.
Look at yourself, directly into your eyes.
Relax your shoulders and take three deep breaths.
Out loud, say one affirmation of your choice.
Take time to notice how you feel, no judgement.
Put the mirror down and just breathe.
When you feel ready…
journal your experience.
Let your intuition guide you.
